Get Out of Your Own Head – The Secret to Selling (and Living) with Purpose

Let’s be real—too many people spend their days obsessing over their own problems.

• “Why am I not hitting my numbers?”

• “Why don’t I feel more successful?”

• “Why is everything so hard right now?”

And guess what? The more you dwell on your own struggles, the worse they get.

Because here’s the truth: The key to success isn’t thinking about yourself more—it’s thinking about others more.

How This Changes Everything in Sales

The best salespeople? They aren’t stuck in their own heads, worried about how they sound, how they look, or if they’re good enough.

They focus 100% on the prospect.

Think about it. When you’re hyper-focused on yourself—what you’re going to say next, how nervous you feel, whether you sound smart—you’re missing everything that actually matters.

You’re missing the clues the buyer is giving you. Their tone, their concerns, their real problem. You’re making the sale about you when it should be about them.

The second you flip that switch and ask, “How can I make this person’s life better?” everything changes.

The Simple Shift That Builds Instant Trust

Ever met someone who was truly interested in you? Someone who made you feel like you were the only person in the room?

It’s rare.

And in sales, it’s a superpower.

When you stop overthinking your own words and start listening—really listening—people notice.

Because most salespeople? They’re waiting for their turn to talk. They’re thinking about their pitch, their quota, their next move.

But the elite salespeople? They’re locked in. They’re not thinking about themselves at all.

They’re asking:

• What does this person actually need?

• What’s their biggest challenge today?

• How can I make their life easier?

And guess what? People can feel it.

And they trust you more because of it.

This Applies to Life, Too

It’s not just sales. The people who are happiest and most successful in life? They aren’t the ones constantly analyzing their own emotions.

They’re the ones showing up for others.

Instead of, “Why isn’t my career where I want it to be?”
Try, “Who can I help today?”

Instead of, “Why don’t people appreciate me?”
Ask, “Who can I make feel appreciated today?”

Instead of, “Why am I not getting opportunities?”
Say, “How can I bring value to others first?”

The more you do this, the less time you spend stuck in your own head, spiraling in self-doubt, and the more time you spend actually improving your situation.

The Cost of Self-Obsession

Here’s a hard truth: the more we fixate on our own problems, the bigger they feel.

When we sit in our own heads, replaying the same negative thoughts over and over, we magnify them. We turn minor challenges into massive roadblocks.

But when you step outside of yourself—when you focus on solving instead of sulking—you break the cycle.

Salespeople who fixate on their own struggles stay stuck.
Salespeople who focus on their customers win.

And in life, the same rule applies.

The Takeaway

Success isn’t about you. It never was.

The second you stop making it about yourself and start making it about helping, serving, and solving problems—everything changes.

Your sales go up. Your stress goes down. Your confidence skyrockets.

And suddenly?

You’re exactly where you want to be.

About Brian Sullivan

Brian Sullivan, CSP, is the author of 20 Days to the Top and a leading voice in sales training and development. He helps sales teams perfect their prospecting and performance with PRECISE Selling.